The silent epidemic is undetected in self-awareness. Self-awareness is the source of becoming centered or balanced; without it, there will be discord within self, mind, body, & spirit.

Do you know when your moods or emotions have shifted? Are you afraid to address your emotions if they’re negative or positive? Do you have tendencies to invalidate your emotions by ignoring or gaslighting them? Yes, it is possible to gaslight yourself. For clarification, moods are inner; they last about seconds or minutes, making them not persistent (Paulekman, 2021). On the other hand, emotions are easier to acknowledge with a longer span of consistency time (Paulekman, 2021).

The good news, everyone has done it; you’re not alone. In my opinion, the most important and life-changing conversations that are ever given are to oneself. Ironically, these are conversations we are so fearful and uncomfortable with having. I believe we do not want to hear our true selves talk about what we truly love, hate, like, and desire. We have our monster creeping behind, waiting to jump out. Seriously why are we so afraid of beginning talking to our true selves alone.

In the Merriam Dictionary, self-awareness is an awareness of one’s personality or individuality (Merriam – Webster, 2022). I am adding to the definition of self-awareness to practice validating the person’s feelings, moods, and emotions in every experience. Be honest with yourself, not lying or gaslighting yourself into believing falsehoods.

Sometimes, avoiding having conversations with ourselves gives us an excuse to stay emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially sick. Being healthy can be scary and overly consumed with doing the inner work; we settle for dysfunction, not wholeness.

As a care practitioner working with surgical patients from several different branches of surgery, I ask them, how are you feeling? There is always a pause as if they have to decide, be honest, or lie. I remind my patients to be okay in verbalizing their thoughts and feelings about their upcoming surgery. A narrative plays in each of our minds about verbalizing our authentic thoughts as a taboo. Pretending has become our normalcy when verbalizing our thoughts to keep peace with ourselves, family, friends, significant others, and the surgery team.

Why should we start developing healthy practices for having uncomfortable conversations with ourselves?

1.   It is to build self-loyalty to honor valid perspectives about everything. Building to become your own best friend (Cherry, 2022).

2.   It reduces chronic illnesses from developing (Cherry, 2022).

3.   The process of becoming a better self-advocate (Cherry, 2022).

4.   Reduces the risk of developing mental disorders such as depression (Cherry, 2022).

5.   Improve your abilities to identify emotional triggers and the origins that created the emotional triggers (Cherry, 2022).

6.   Life Transformation can begin (Cherry, 2022).

How do we develop the skill of conversating with ourselves?

1.   Permit yourself to feel everything that is happening. Not fearful of pain, emptiness, worrisome, nervousness, and other emotions (Betz, 2021).

2.   Start journaling each emotional experience. Because without placing a name on your feelings or emotions, categorizing will be difficult when conversating with yourself about those experiences (Betz, 2021).

3.   Create alone time to ask yourself questions. Answer them honestly. Do not be afraid of your answers but always be cautious of being comfortable with lying to yourself (Betz, 2021).

4.   Learning how to embrace your silent thoughts and moods without the pressure of labeling them (Betz, 2021).

In conclusion, in this blog, I refer to Proverbs 20:5 states, “The purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters but are who has insight draws them out.” (New International Version, 2022, Proverbs 20:5).

References:

Merriam – Webster. (n.d.). Self-awareness. In Merriam – Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved May 1, 2022, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/self-awareness

Cherry, K. (2020, July 14). Self-awareness: How it develops and why it matters. Verywell Mind. Retrieved May 1, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-self-awareness-2795023

Betz, M. (2021). What Is Self-Awareness, and Why Is It Important?. Retrieved May 1, 2022, from https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-is-self-awareness

New International Version, (2022). NIV Online. www.bibleportal.com/topic/selfawareness

Paulekman, E. (2021, January 22). Mood vs. emotion: Differences & traits. Paul Ekman Group. Retrieved May 1, 2022, from https://www.paulekman.com/blog/mood-vs-emotion-difference-between-mood-emotion/